If you are trying to build a village around you, then here’s a look at who I include in mine to give you some ideas.I have written before about the importance of having a support system as a new mum and why I need it. The age old saying goes “it takes a village to raise a child”. Without mine I wouldn’t be able to achieve and accomplish half of what I do every day. It keeps me sane, grounded and provides the back up I need to achieving my goals both as a mother and personally.
As my No 1 child care support she is the most reliable and dependable person I have. Wen I need extra assistance she’s the one I go to first for helping watch the kids. She has my son regularly enabling me not have to put him into full time creche at such an early age but allow me to get back to work full time.
Whilst we don’t always see eye to eye. She is the closest ally I have. Brutally honest to the point of taking my breath away sometimes, she is also the most supportive and encouraging of all my tribe. 100% my biggest cheerleader when it comes to the cucu crazy ideas I have and ambitious projects I choose to focus on.
Stood next to me on a daily basis with his sleeves rolled up, we are in the trenches together, Often he will appear to be taking a step back, but what he is really up to is surveying the scene and seeing what I need help with. He will give me space to do things my way but will be there to back me up or take over when I become overwhelmed. As role model to our son, he is perfect in everyday, showing him how men and women can be equal and why there is no shame in helping out. He is kind, caring and loving. All the best qualities for a life partner.
Classified I would say as a “Man’s Man”. He is the most amazing grandad. Who is buidling a strong bond with my son. As a hands on type of person, he is helping teach my son life skills that perhaps my husband and I miss in the day to day. The best of buddies, my son always whips out his tool box and shouted “nandad” as he trots off after my dad on whatever mission the pair are on. For me it’s the ideal. Several role models on how to behave and how to be a real man to help guide my little men into this mad mad world.
My Single Career Focused Friend
She is the person I was before I became a mum. I very similar if not a carbon copy of me. It’s contact with her on a regular basis, that keeps me related to the outside world. Reminding me of the wonderful business mind and all the ambitions and dreams I want to achieve outside of raising my family. When I need a time out from being a mum, need a moment to remember who I am as an individual. Then she is who a go to, to be the real me. Not mummy not a boss. Just me.
My Earthy Creative Friend
Again a pre-baby friend, this time the relationship has grown and changed for the better. Becoming a mum has helped me to see as to why and where this friends focus it. I have a far better appreciation for her then I did when I was a single career minded girl, who perhaps saw her as a dreamer with her head in the clouds. Now I get it! She keeps inspiring me to do more. To explore alternative options. To make the most of the quality time I have with my family. To remember as to why that is the most important thing. She reminds me to listen to myself and my inner voice. To not be afraid of what lays ahead but to go grab it with both hands and have fun doing it.
My Long Term Friends before we were Mothers Friend
We’ve experienced highs and lows together, have had drunk nights, serious conversations and are now experiencing motherhood together. Having met early in our careers, both of us remain focused on achieving more and setting great examples to our boys. To show them what women are capable of. She’s the one real mothering friend who I don’t feel I am competing against. we can share the real nitty gitty with one another. Still laugh out loud whether its about a child related incident or a bad memory of a night out. We may no longer get to spend as much time together and often go for vast periods without talking but when we do. It’s like nothing has changed and we only spoke yesterday.
My Business Allie
See’s me in full business mode, when the mummy side of me has been left at the door. He knows what I face on a daily basis in the business world. As a father himself however, he also recognises and respects the fact that I am a mother and a wife. Acknowledging that I have a huge juggling action to perform. Telling me when I need to put it down and walk away. When I am giving to much of be over to the business. He never critisises but listens, suggests when my brain won’t and supports the decisions I make
My Career minded mum friend.
This gal, Is in the trenches next to me, sleeves rolls up. Snotty toddler in arms and baby bump pretruding. Just like me she is working hard to provide for her family. Maintaining her business whilst raising her tribe. She will happily call me when she is in tears and verce aversa. We get it. We get how impossible it all is. We completely relate to missed moments or more so the fear of missing those moments. To functioning on sleepless nights and having to chooose proirtisies from the home, family or work. Always comparing notes with one another, we spend many hours together looking at ways to make our lifes easier.
My Stay at home mum Friend.
In contrast to me completely. MY sahm friend has a calming influence over me. She is a huge inspiration for all the things I want to experience and achieve with my kids, time permitting. Ago to if I need additional assistance. She is always happy to help, make suggestions or take my son for me for a few hours if I need. But even though she stays at home she is not to be confused with the sterotype people have. This gal is strong and clear minded and whilst she may not have a job outside of the home, she has made this a full time career that can put me to shame.
Who you included in your village?