How Big of a Gap to Leave Between Children

How big of a gap to leave between children

This is a hotly contested subject. Go on any mum forum or Facebook group and you will see this question asked time and again. Along with a whole multitude of answers. All of which are neither right or wrong.

When I fell pregnant with our second.  Just before our sons 2nd birthday we got a lot of “oh wow that close together” But equally before we announced it to the world we were asked just as much as to when we were going to get around to having another.

Living here in Portugal, there doesn’t seem to be such as rush. It is very common to see large age gaps between siblings, with 4 5 or 6 years being the norm. I know from the UK, it’s often more favourable to have your kids closer together. It’s what works for you I guess.

We planned our second, it was well times and prompt. I am one of two with a 2 and a half-year age gap and it has worked well for me. We share similar interests, the same friends and have a great relationship even though we now live on opposite sides of the world. Thats exactly what I wanted for my own kids.

My husband on the other hand has half siblings. All who are around 15 to 20 years his older. He has a bond with them but it is still a very different relationship to that of my brother and I.

Equally the selfish part of me, doesn’t want to still be changing nappies at 40. I have done 2 years of sleepless nights, dirty nappies and mess and whilst we are starting to come to the end of all of this with our first son. The thought of going back to any form of normality only to revert back to this is sole destroying for me. I want to keep going doing what we are doing, so that once we are done we are done for good. I am not sure I could do it all again if I stopped.

Whilst plenty of my Portuguese friends think I am mad. They want the break, the rest before they do it all again. They want to be able to go out and be them and not mummy for a while. I get that I really do, but for me I just don’t think I would cope well once I get my life back.

So as I said, whats the perfect age gap between kids? Well whats perfect for you? Its your life, its your sleep, it’s completely and utterly your decision. Dont let anyone else decide that for you!

Drop a comment below. Let us know what age gap you have between your kids or what gap you are planning!



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