Sometimes the people you love the hardest are also the one’s you find will grate on your last nerve the quickest. It’s a known fact that to hate you must first experience love. Perhaps that why there are days when I really do not want to be around my husband. Or when my son has pushed me to the point that I drop him off with nana for an hour to myself. Sometimes it can be hard to love your family when you don’t like them.
It’s actually really hard to write this stuff and put it out there for the world to see. Hard to let people know that. Whilst I have this wonderful family. Many things others long for. I sometimes don’t like them that much.
That is the raw truth. Whilst I feel exposed by saying it ( I will await the trolls) I equally believe 100% that there are many of us who feel like this from time to time.
Ok, so if you feel like this all the time, I think you need to sit back and re-evaluate your life, what’s in it and what you want. Don’t stay with a partner just because society makes you feel like you should. If you feel like this permanently about your kids, please see professional help.
I May Love You.
A very dear friend told me once about a statement she made to her then boyfriend. They were disagreeing on something and she cut the discussion short by staying. I may love you, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you right now.
It can’t of done any harm to their relationship as they went on to marry and have a beautiful little more. However what it did for me was change my view-point on things.
It was an invaluable piece of advice that I have continued to carry with me. Its ok not to like everything my family does. Do not want to see them, talk to them. It’s ok to have a day when they just get on your nerves. Its healthy. Recognising this fact has actually made it so much easier for me to handle this stuff.
When I fight with my husband. I know it’s not a bad sign. It’s just a moment. If he annoys me I don’t keep question should I be with him. When my son is misbehaving or playing up just for me. I understand that’s what kids do to their mums. I take a deep breath and a normally mutter that phrase under my breath. Although I have said it directly to my husband on several occasions as well. That’s ok. It’s ok he knows I don’t like him at that time. However more importantly he knows that whilst I don’t like him now I do ultimately love him.
After all he is my partner in crime. My rock. My loudest cheerleader. He gets me like so many others don’t. He also knows when to stay out of my way.
With my son, of course I am biases. After all I am his mother. He is handsome, funny, energetic. But boy he is strong-willed. He will drive me crazy. Test me, pushing to my limits. He’s an excellent student in selective hearing and he’s only 2.
However through the use of that one phrase. I have learnt that these are all qualities that I need to embrace. That make him who e is and who he will become! That those moments will pass. That often they are more about my self-doubt as a mother than really not liking my child.
When I can’t escape the moment. I will sit back , take a deep breath. Hide for 5 minutes if I have too and count of all the things that I love about them. It reminds me that whilst at that moment they are making we want to scream. I couldn’t be without them. These traits are part of their characters of which I love so much. I think of the things that mean so much to me. The little actions every day and I remind myself when you love someone. Its ok not the like them all the time.
What’s your tricks for surviving these moments?